Humans are social beings. The ability to socialize and communicate with each other is our main evolutionary strength. In my career, I have seen nothing so powerful or as predictive of success as surrounding oneself with a like-minded and supportive community. There is just no substitute for the benefits we gain by being a part of a community.
The GPP Gym and RWND group is a tremendously kind and supportive community. The individuals who comprise this community are renowned for their thoughtful participation in each other’s success. I feel fortunate every day to be a part of it. However, when I first created my gym, I had no aspirations whatsoever of creating a community. I was a personal trainer. In my mind, great trainers exist only to create marvelous programming aimed at improving fitness. That was my sole purpose.
Trainers are nerds about this. We love the physiology and biomechanics of exercise. It is all that is important to us. In the old days, if you’d have hit me up about my thoughts on “community” I would have scoffed at the idea. I would have thought of community as nothing more than a byproduct of great programming. In my mind programming was key. I mistakenly thought great programming was all one needed to become as fit and healthy as they’d like.
Back then I wore the tremendous effort and time I put into programming as my most noteworthy badge of honor. It's all I talked about. It's all I wrote about. It's all I thought about. Then something happened.
One morning at the 0930 class I was introducing the workout and showing movements to folks, mostly ladies, preparing for the workout. This particular group of ladies had been coming to the gym for several years and they were, by and large, in phenomenal shape. Many of these 30+ year old mothers with busy lives were capable of astonishing feats of physical strength and endurance. Most could do multiple sets of full pullups, heavy overhead squats, bodyweight deadlifts for numerous reps, and the like. They also carried exceptionally low levels of body fat. I assumed they were the ones who would enjoy hearing about the rudiments and fundamentals of the workout I was explaining. So, I went into detail. As I do. I was in full nerd mode as I was explaining some theoretical hypothesis having to do with programming design when one of the moms rolled her eyes, threw her head back and cried out loud, “We. Don’t. CARE!”
They all clapped.
I wasn’t as embarrassed as I should have been. I was just stunned. How could they not care? How is it, these incredibly fit humans don’t care about the scholarly fundamentals of program design? How did they even become so fit in the first place if they weren’t constantly dissecting the principles of movement patterns and the chemistry of nutrition? I really couldn’t wrap my head around it.
After the workout, I cornered the girl who spoke up. “I'm sorry. We all hate your lectures. None of us care. We come here to get a great workout, but mostly to socialize. This is the only time of the day when I get to see my friends.”
And there it was.
Humans need social contact. Eyeball to eyeball is best. When humans approach and engage each other within touching distance we are gifted with the wonderful effects of a hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin is called the love hormone because of how happy it makes us feel during human contact. It can be a real problem for our health if we don’t get this. It can be a real boon to our health when we do.
Social scientists will tell you the biggest determinant of longevity and a healthful life is our ability to create and maintain social bonds and be a part of a supportive community. Did you know people with weak social networks are 50% more likely to die young? They are also more likely to suffer from diseases. Nasty ones like, Alzheimer's, heart disease, cancer, and lower immunity. One of the worst punishments a human can experience is social isolation. Self-imposed social isolation is no different.
Steps to Improve Your Social Health
Social health isn’t complicated… but it does require intention. Here’s where to start:
Get Face-to-Face
Texting isn’t connection. It’s maintenance.
Make time to actually be around people—talk, laugh, train, share space.
(Yes… joining a place like GPP counts 🙂)
Do Things With People
You don’t build relationships sitting at home “thinking about it.”
Join something—classes, groups, teams, anything that puts you around like-minded humans.
Listen Like You Mean It
Most people aren’t listening… they’re just waiting to talk.
If you want better relationships, actually hear people. That’s where connection lives.
Give Your Time
Volunteer. Help. Show up for something bigger than you.
You’ll meet good people fast when you’re all pulling in the same direction.
Use Social Media… Don’t Let It Use You
Social media is a tool—not a substitute for real life.
If it’s replacing real conversations, you’ve gone off track.
Be the One Who Reaches Out
Stop waiting for invites.
Plan the dinner. Send the text. Set it up.
Strong social circles don’t happen by accident.
Be Willing to Open Up
Surface-level effort gets surface-level results.
If you want real connection, you’ve got to let people see you a bit.
In a world where we're more interconnected digitally than ever before, the essence of human connection is still rooted in the power of face-to-face interaction. We often overlook Social health. This is a mistake. Having a healthy social life is the secret ingredient. Our ability to form and maintain genuine relationships isn't just a "nice-to-have" feature of life; it's an essential pillar of well-being.
Looking back at the journey of creating my gym, I came face-to-face with the surprising realization that even the most dedicated fitness bad-asses weren't there solely for, what I considered, “marvelous program design.” Haha. They craved more than sets and reps; they yearned for human connection. It was the camaraderie, the shared laughs, and the bonds formed through sweat and struggle that truly fueled their tremendous health.
Social health isn't just about the oxytocin-driven "feel-good" effects of human touch—it's about something deeper. It's about being part of a community, whether that means finding kinship in a physical space or joining a virtual tribe through the wonders of technology. We've discovered that weak social networks are like a silent poison. It’s poison that kills slowly. But the beauty is, we possess the antidote—connection.