By Megan Wallace
Ever since I had my surgery I have wanted to share my experience with everyone. However, I haven’t been able to put anything together that seemed worth sharing, until now.
It has taken a long time to realize what I wanted to share about my surgery is not about the ending, it is not how everything has worked out and I am back at doing pull ups and cleans and rxing my workouts. In fact, honestly, this all makes me a little sad, actually, a lot sad. The fact that I am not back to doing pushups, kettle bell swings or even burpees, that I can’t even demo my own workouts yet is so hard for me. But I am not and right now, even though at times it feels like those are the things that are most important, that if I could just do those things again, everything would be right in my world, I know that is not true.
My real problem is I have let myself become trapped by my limitations. I have put on a set of glasses that are distorting my view. I show up, I do a modified workout but I walk away feeling discouraged and disappointed, seeing my attempt as less than acceptable. I feel left out and as though I have little to nothing to give anymore. However, I have realized it is time for me to throw those tinted glasses away. To see myself as I truly am and to remember what I am capable of and how blessed I am. This is where the real learning, the overcoming, the becoming better begins for me. And thankfully, I can do all of this while I cannot do box jumps or switch lunges.
It has taken me three long months to remember what this physical experience is all about, why I keep showing up every day. The victory is not in the ending! Yes, I want the ending, I want to be back to doing everything, to throwing a bar over my head with fully extended arms without shrugging my shoulder and curving my back. I want all of that and more and I will continue to work for it, but until that day comes, I will see myself as I really am. I will not limit myself or my potential because I am still becoming. I will start doing and giving and seeing the goodness in everything around me again. My victory will be daily doing my best and recognizing it as great.
I hope you will do the same. Realize who you are, see the greatness in you as you struggle and progress towards your goal. Remember nothing worthwhile ever comes easily but takes constant work, evaluation and commitment. Throw away any idea or view that is holding you back, become who you are meant to be!