The GPP Soreness Scale

GPPeeps are roughstock.  They feel no pain.  Besides, they are so damn tough that if they did happen to feel some pain they wouldn't mention it. 

Although rare, there are times when GPP participants become sore from one or more of the workouts we perform daily.  Again, this almost NEVER happens.  But when it does, for scientific purposes (more to help others and rookies), we thought it well to classify the types of soreness one might expect to encounter down here at GPP.  These only apply to full Rx vets.  Rookies who progress above "kinda sore" are doing it wrong. 

 

The GPP Sorness Scale

 
Zero Sore

You cheated!  Totally dogged the workout.  Your effort was weak-sauce. You should be ashamed. Do better.  
 

Kinda Sore

You accidentally stretch into a position that faintly reminds you of the workout you did yesterday.  Secretly you feel guilty that you didn't do more.  And you should. 
 

Perfect Sore

24 hours after a workout you experience a bit of very manageable soreness at the extremes of your normal range of motion.  You love this.  You are happy.  You wish for it all the time.  You realize you are quite ill because of this.
 

Good-n-Sore

You over-did it.  There really is NO position you find yourself in throughout your day (and 2, or 3 to follow) where you aren't encumbered by pain.  The pain you feel is at the outermost limit of cool.  Every now and again, you are tempted to be delighted that you are tough enough to have pushed yourself through this (it is surprising that any human would do this to herself) but, "Good-n-Sore" is too painful to relish.  At this point you are happy to take your 3-5 day beatin' and be done with it.  This type of soreness usually comes with a vow to avoid the workout that causes it.  Of course, if you are being honest, you said this the last time you did that workout.  Obviously, it couldn't have been that bad or you'd have really avoided it.  In any case, you'll cut back next time.  If you remember. 
 

Good-n-DAMN-Sore

Only those who know ... know. 

Only those who know ... know. 

One step up from "Good-n-Sore" this type of soreness includes limping.  You'll not be making large movements if you get this kind of sore.  You can't.  In fact, this is the kind of sore where you start avoiding movements all together.  If you have ever been "Good-n-Damn-Sore" you know what it is like to fear your bodily functions.  Nothing looks more menacing to you than the seat of a toilet.   
  

Too Sore

This is a generic term used ubiquitously for any level of soreness experienced above "Perfect Sore."  
 

Thrust-O-Sore

 If you have ever done Thrust-O-Rama you KNOW this type of sore.  This type of soreness ALMOST wasn't your fault (except for the warnings).  It is sneaky.  It comes a couple of days after a workout (one of your GOATs) where you worked extra hard and thought to yourself,

"HELL YEAH!  I Finally Rx'd and made that workout my BITCH!"

Oh, you'll live through this kind of soreness (probably), but you won't want to.  And once you've done it to yourself, you'll NEVER do it again.  Well, not til the next time that workout comes up and you decide to take revenge on it for making you it's BITCH last time!
 

STUPID Sore

This type of soreness was coined by an ER doc.  I was trying to convince him to check for elevated CPK levels in the blood of a guy who (despite our numerous "this can kill you" warnings) over did it.  He said, 

grouchatrighttruth.blogspot.com

"There is NO-WAY a human could do this to himself through exercise.  It would be ... (pause) ... STUPID."  

Those who become this sore have NO ONE to blame, but themselves.  If you become this sore, you meant to.  There would have been no less than a dozen different warning signs that let you know you had over done it.  That is, no less than a dozen points at which you said to yourself (or someone said to you), "I [you] should really stop."  Despite them all, you pushed forward.  

If you become THIS kind of sore, and you live to tell about it, and happen to be lucky enough to have escaped without muscle damage, kidney damage and/or heart problems, we think you'll come to agree that it is appropriately named.